A dear friend, passed
away recently. Within a week of being admitted to the hospital, she was gone.
And we were all heart broken, shocked, and trying to put a logic to it.
She was a dear friend
I said. But a lot of us had not really met her for a long time. We were busy
with our lives as she was with her. We were old friends. But most of us didn’t
find the time to meet each other very often. After all everybody was very busy
with their own lives. Busy with work, busy making money, busy proving ourselves
to this world, busy with our family, busy with our children and busy doing our
daily chores.
In that one week that
she was in the hospital, we were out there in the waiting area trying to help
in any which way we could. While there we also caught up with each other’s
lives. Everyone said how it was very sad that we had to meet like this and that
we just didn’t make time to catch up with each other any longer. Promises were
made to make sure we keep close henceforth, catch up more often, meet more
often, share more often. And then she left us all. For Good.
More than a month
after that, and I could see us all fading away from each other once again as we
got back to our so called routines. Everyone slowly got back to their lives,
everyone was busy in their routines again. Ah! The known, comfortable routine.
Well we finally
decided to break this routine. We started by keeping in touch more often and
then using any possible occasion as a reason to meet. And it has helped us all.
It has helped us cope with the loss of a dear friend, it has helped us help
each other, it has made us happier to some extent. The sad thing is that we had to lose
a friend forever to make us break the routine.
We humans love our
routines. We really do. Oh Yes! we do crib about the same, clamor for change,
long for breaks but let’s face it – almost all of us still cling to our
routines. Why? Because it’s the known, its regular, its safe. That’s where we
actually feel the most comfortable – in our routines. And we all have our
excuses, the job, the need to make money, the hectic schedules of juggling
job/business and family etc.
As we grow in life,
our priorities change, our friends change and over time, so do our routines.
But when we get to one routine we like to be there for as long as we can until
life forces us to change the same and then we develop another routine and then
get comfortable with that.
There is nothing wrong
with establishing and sticking to a routine per say, however it has its
negatives too. Routine stops us from being spontaneous, routine makes us blind
to things around us, routine stops innovation, routines breaks ties with the
past, routine stops us from seeing the future, routine prevents us from
learning new things, etc. Routine also stops us from seeing the change
happening around us, the change in people, circumstance and everything else.
Change is the only constant but we become blind to it.
I can go on and on but
what’s most important to see here is that since routine does not like change,
it also makes us lazy, and hinders, growth & progress and worst of all, it
makes us take things people and life in general for granted. Any small change
makes us frustrated. Any major change makes us insecure. We stop to see people
as they are but start seeing them as we had once perceived them to be. And if others want to change we try to stop them from the same. Most importantly routine at times keeps us
away from people who matter to us, people we love, people who we miss dearly
when they are gone. It keeps us from doing what we love and from following our
passion.
Oh Yes we all know
that we should stop to smell the roses, but do we? We all know that we should
be open to new ideas and change in people but are we? We all know that we
should make time for our parents our children, our spouse, for exercise, for
giving back to society, but do we? We all know that we should keep in touch
with our old friends but do we? We all have that one two or many things we want
to learn or do in our life, be it learning to play the drums, or to go mountain
climbing, to see the 7 wonders of the world, but most of us don’t. We all know
that time is passing and what we are missing, but routine takes hold of us and
keeps us chained and all we are left with, is just the routine itself.
Numerous times we have
seen or heard or read about regrets of people who are on their death beds. What
is the most common one? Not making time. Not making time for ourselves, our
near and dear ones, for what is important.
Can we start making a
small change today and say we will make some time every week to stop and talk
to someone we love or like, spend time with family and friends, connect with
people we have missed, do the things we have always wanted to do? Can we break
from our routine to do all else that is also important, and make sure we don’t
live and die with regrets? Take that career risk, go on that journey, start
exercising, learn how to play drums, pamper our parents, spend time with our
beloved and all that we know we should be doing.
After all, tomorrow
never comes and today is all we have. So let us break the routine and be the
change. Can we?
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