How to deal with a breakup or a loss or a down phase

Been through a breakup recently? Lost a loved one? However positive thinking or a Happy go lucky person one might be, there are events that will get you down. Sometimes there are even relatively small happenings that tend to get us down. I consider myself as a pretty happy go lucky person but there have been instances where a setback at work has also made me depressed, and down, however short that time may have been.

So how do we deal with such instances? Do we bury it deep somewhere and get on with our lives as nothing happened? Do we pretend to not care and still try to be happy? Do we try and see the positive in it (well yes we can) and shrug and move on?

The answer as I see it, is to Live it before we do anything else. Yes, Live the moment, Live that event and the feeling - that sadness, that dejection, that depression or whatever it may be.

What do I mean by live it? I mean to ‘be’ in that moment. Feel it. Feel all the related emotions of frustration, anger, sadness too. And I mean Really feel them. Be angry, be sad, be depressed, be dejected. Do not, jump to conclusions, do not rationalize, do not take drastic actions.  In fact, do nothing at all. Just deep dive and immerse yourself in it, touch the bottom of that ocean.

And then watch yourself in that state. See the event, the reasons being put forward by your mind and the actions being suggested by the mind. See them all. Just don’t do anything. Now, stop dwelling on these thoughts and let them just come and go. Watch them come and go. In some time, all that will be left with you will be the learning. 

Now it’s time to resurface. Take your time and slowly resurface. Take a few deep breaths. Smile. Now you are ready to leave what has happened behind and move forward again. Remember those learning and start forward again. You will feel lighter and also rejuvenated. This sometimes takes time so be prepared to give it time.

What happened? You just let Life be for some time without interfering. You had an experience that enlightened you a bit, that taught you something. Now move on.

Life is full of these small and big moments. Our problem is that we start rationalizing, slicing and dicing and looking for logic and reasoning and plotting actions, allocating blame, looking for solutions outside of us. Actually it is an event that is meant to make us look within. For us to stop, to feel, to experience and to learn from.

We don’t have to actually do anything else other than Live Life.

Have a similar experience? Have a question? Please comment below and share.