Don't go searching for happiness, Live it

All of us at some point in time have heard this story or some version of it.

A man once saw another man lying under a tree and gazing up at the sky. He asked the man “What are you doing?” The man lying under the tree replied – “Am enjoying looking at the clouds float by.” The man said “what a waste of time? Why don’t you do something productive and make some money?” The other asked him “Oh and what will happen then?”  He replied “You will be rich and famous and can do what you want and be happy” The man under the tree replied “What do you think am doing now?”

We all want to be happy don’t we? So what do we do? We go after something that we think will make us happy.

So we run after, money, fame, success, praise, etc. What we are doing is to do something that we think will make us happy when we are done or when we succeed in whatever that we set out to do. If we succeed we may be happy momentarily, but by then we are already looking at something else that we think will make us happy and we start after that. And so on.

Mostly it first starts from us thinking that we are not happy because we do not have this or that or someone else has this or that and wanting the same or better. It starts from a state of unhappiness. Or it starts from us thinking the other is happy because they have this or that. After all we are social animals and have a mind that is programmed to think logical. For us everything is with respect to someone else or something else.

Nothing wrong in wanting something or wanting to strive for something or being competitive or aspiring for better. Nothing wrong at all. In fact, the challenge of something more, something better, something different, is what keeps us alive and innovative and thinking and leads to change, and evolution and discovery.

The problem is when we start thinking I will be happy after ‘that” and then after ‘that’ and meanwhile become more and more unhappy. Being unhappy at times for small periods too is good as it pushes us and nudges us and makes us try even harder. But over longer period of times, unhappiness leads to frustration, anger, and all the related negatives that can also be the beginning of our failure and downfall. It distances us from people. It spoils our health. It brings in so much negativity that we start thinking of short cuts and all the wrong ways to make things happen. It distances us from our true selves.

Aspiring to achieve something or working towards a goal can be achieved much better if we are happy to begin with. And here what I am taking of is not happiness that comes from getting something but happiness that comes from within, happiness that comes from just living, happiness that comes from the process itself and not just the goal. Some call it bliss, some meditation but I call it being happy – from the inside.

Happiness is a state of mind. It is here and now. It comes from…. Well!!! Just being Happy.

We can all be happy. Starting Now. Start with a smile. Really ‘Want’ to be happy and lo behold you can be happy.

When we stop looking at happiness in other things only do we realize that happiness is within us. Playing with your cat or dog makes you happy? Going for a run makes you happy? Playing with your child makes you happy? Being with your lover makes you happy? Is happiness then, in the dog or cat or road or child or lover? No. Its within you. And you define what makes you happy. Only you.

Happiness like all other emotions is just that – an emotion and all your emotions are within you. When outside stimuli can trigger these emotions why can’t you? But more on that another day.

Right now just remember that to be happy all you need is to start now. Start with happiness, then set goals for achieving something, be it fame, money power or anything else, and then as you begin, remember to also enjoy the path and the process. Be happy as you strive and struggle. Enjoy the learning and the pain, enjoy the failures and the successes, enjoy the company and learning of and from people you come across the way. Spread your joy and your happiness as you work towards the goal. When you do get sad or angry or dejected along the way remember that you are already happy and then you can use that anger or dejection or sadness to further push towards your goal without dragging yourself down a dark hole.

For the first man in the story happiness came out of doing something and achieving something where as for the other it was here and now. But real happiness is in being happy and going through the journey of life, its ups and downs and its struggles and laurels, all while being happy. Enjoying every moment as it comes and as it happens. Be happy in real time. Be Happy Now!